Self Esteem

George Michael Cuesta, PhD is a Board Certified Clinical Psychologist / Neuropsychologist practicing at the Burke Rehabilitation Hospital in White Plains (Westchester County), New York.

Self-esteem is something more deep-seated than the normal "ups and downs" associated with normal life changes. For people with good basic self-esteem, normal "ups and downs" may lead to temporary fluctuations in how they feel about themselves. In contrast, for people with poor basic self-esteem, these "ups and downs" may affect many their normal functioning abilities.

Some of the Basic Elements of "Healthy" Self-Esteem Include:

TRUST starts early in life and is based on how we are received into the world. We learn to trust ourselves and begin to have a realistic trust of others. We begin to develop confidence in the self's ability to choose others who are safe--who will not injure or exploit.
SELF-NURTURE is born of trust--we learn how to be caretakers of ourselves. Self-nurturing is an essential ingredient of self-esteem.
AUTONOMY comes from mastery. We work through necessary dependencies, to a growing independence. We find interdependence when we can separate ourselves from others around us and yet retain vital connections to others.
IDENTITY grows. We begin to know who we are and who we are becoming. In each stage of life, self-esteem undergoes change and growth. We feel more solid as our identity grows.
INTIMACY develops from identity and the need for connection. It is the ability to relate closely and to know the limits of closeness. We yearn to lose ourselves in love and yet we need to retain our own separate essence.

People with poor or low self-esteem often rely on how they are doing in the present to determine how they feel about themselves. They need positive external experiences to counteract the negative feelings and thoughts that constantly afflict them. Even then, the good feeling (a smile from a passing stranger on the street.) can be only temporary.

Low self-esteem can have many of the following  devastating consequences:

It can create anxiety, stress, loneliness and increased likelihood for depression
It can cause problems with friendships and relationships
It can seriously impair academic and job performance
It can lead to underachievement and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse

Some helpful resources pertaining to self-esteem can be found here:

National Association for Self-Esteem
www.self-esteem-nase.org/ 

American Psychology Association
www.apa.org

National Mental Health Association
www.nmha.org

In people with low self-esteem the negative consequences themselves reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self-esteem and increasingly non-productive or even actively self-destructive behavior. 

Low self-esteem can be treated successfully.

Feel free to contact George Michael Cuesta, PhD  at the Burke Rehabilitation Hospital in White Plains (Westchester County), New York to schedule an appointment.